THEN AND NOW: Understanding our transition to Solus Pres

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

I. Developing Transitional Awareness (w/some help from Tim Keller’s Church Size Dynamics)

Where we’re coming from	What we’re facing
Approx. 40 people per service, “House church” format. Feels like everyone knows everyone.	Approx. 100 people per service, “Small church” format.  Feels bigger and like a sea of new faces.
- Feels more immediately intimate, but this intimacy can only be maintained if size stays small.  - Fellowship and friendships will feel relatively consistent.  - Unity is more readily achieved, but diversity will take work.	- Loses immediate sense of intimacy, but is more accommodating of newcomers because they feel less like there’s a big clique they can’t penetrate. - In a more diverse and larger context, fellowship and friendships may feel like they’re changing often.  - Diversity is more readily achieved, but unity will take work.
- With greater relational intimacy comes a greater measure of grace for flaws and shortcomings in various ministries, so leaders hear less complaints because everything is more personal. - Quality of ministries may be less professional (which is not a great hindrance for a smaller context).	- More professionalism is expected in a larger church context, and naturally more complaints and demands are to be expected. - It can be challenging for leaders coming from a “house church” context to adjust to hearing these complaints and not take them personally. - Hospitality in a larger church requires leaders to learn to take complaints more administratively and less personally (e.g. “Thank you for bringing that to our attention. I’ll relay that to our pastor.”).  - It's important to remember that our battle is not against flesh and blood but against sin and the evil one (Eph. 6:12).
- More natural opportunities for fellowship are provided on Sundays (even more so at a Korean church w/ kwonsanims who prep weekly lunch).  - The line between fellowship and friendship is often blurred in this context since it’s easier to include everyone more often. - Hospitality and fellowship are more easily achieved as it takes less space and time to find an accommodating space. - This context allows fellowship to evolve naturally into close friendships.	- More intentional fellowship is required in a larger church context, and it takes more individual effort outside of Sundays to make fellowship happen. - Hospitality is not something delegated to a few but many (if we are to maintain closer fellowship), but it's also more challenging as it's difficult to find a space and time that accommodates everyone. - This context does not see fellowship naturally evolving into close friendships as often; the latter will require a lot more proactivity (almost like going from college life to adult life).  - Friendships are less within one's control, whereas fellowship is (Christlike welcoming); fellowship is more a matter of obedience, whereas friendship is more a matter of discovery. - We can still start with making one friend at a time, meeting one family at a time, one week at a time.
- Smaller context takes more cues from lay members, and greater influence & control is assumed by them.	- Larger context takes more cues from a few designated leaders (like elders in the session), and naturally, leaders coming from a smaller context may feel a sense of loss of control and influence.
Pastor is allowed to preach because he is able to pastor (people emphasize quality of pastoral relationship more).	Pastor is allowed to pastor because he is able to preach (people emphasize quality of pastoral teaching/counsel more).
- Core value was catered to the immigrant church culture. - The most important core value was “peaceful co-existence”; all other core values were subservient to this one, and rightly so. - Values such as Biblical Counseling could be Pastor John’s own priority but not something we could spread church-wide (e.g. for deacons and elders).  - Most immigrant churches do not have counseling as a core value and thus lack investing in this ministry.  - Less people means less diversity (more unity), relatively less complaints/conflicts, and boundaries are more easily defined and drawn.	- Core value of Solus belongs solely to Solus. - The Lead Pastor can now cast the vision for the church & equip elders to support the vision more proactively. Counseling will be one of its main core values.  - Counseling will continue to be a growing need in a larger church context because :  1) more people means more stories that need to be heard and understood,  2) more people means diversity of relationships, and more boundaries (that can make people coming from a smaller church context feel uncomfortable and excluded),   3) and this means more patience, flexibility, understanding, and compassion are needed.  - Again, it's important to remember that our battle is not against people, but sin and evil.

II. Fellowship, Friendship, and Frustrations 

- As Sunday becomes more time/space limited, and church size grows, what happens after service becomes more diversified according to individuals’ and families’ preferences.

- Complaints that people are being excluded from fellowship, or that groups are becoming more “cliquey” will naturally arise. Distinguishing between optics and motives will be important. (What I think I'm seeing may not be what is really happening.)

- Korean/Asian church contexts can also give people the expectation that most church fellowship needs to happen on Sundays, because Sundays tend to be an “all-day affair” at an immigrant church. This is not a realistic expectation for a culturally diverse church plant without a church building. Leaders have to remain focused on Sunday’s main event – worship.  

- In smaller churches there tends to be a very thin line between fellowship and friendship, whereas in a larger church there is often a clearer distinction between the two. Fellowship among attendees will be led and encouraged by the Church, but friendship will remain a matter of personal initiation, engagement, and choice.  - Intentional exclusion from church fellowship is sinful and should be called out, but being excluded from others' family time or close, intimate friendships is not suffering from "cliquiness." The latter is a case of running into a priority of relationships, like the one that Jesus had (with the three, the twelve, and the Jews).

- Solus Pres’ current form of Sunday fellowship ends around 1pm (extended to 2pm on lunch fellowship Sundays); what takes place after is purely by initiation of church members and of their own volition. Not everyone will or can be included in everything. This can also appear “exclusive,” but this again says more about optics (what is perceived and assumed) than motives (what is intended and actual). Church will always open fellowship to all (CG, Bible studies, large group events, etc.). Church fellowship can also expand when initiated by members who choose to be sacrificial and providing (by hosting, inviting, organizing, rallying, etc.).

- Some may choose to use the rest of Sunday for sabbath-ing alone, with friends, family, etc. Despite appearances, this is not necessarily being “cliquey” but pursuing quality time with God and loved ones and should be respected and even encouraged. 

- A smaller church tends to have most fellowship opportunities designed for one large group. This naturally creates a greater sense of unity. There’s strength in bigger numbers when you’re a smaller church (for the sake of unity among the different groups). But a larger church must learn to diversify fellowship into many different opportunities (with close friends, acquaintances, families, singles, married, children, students, athletic, non-athletic, long-time believers, non-believers/seekers, etc.). There’s strength in smaller numbers when you’re a bigger church (for the sake of diversity of the different groups).

III. Principles to Always Hold On To: 

1. Always be slow to anger and quick to listen.

   
   

2. Withhold judgment about others, gather more data.

   
   

3. Don’t see people as your enemies but people in need of your ministry (Eph. 6:12).

4. Don’t struggle alone, let others share your burdens (Gal. 6:2).

   
   

5. Lovingly offer others your patience, since all good improvements take time.

   
   

6. Use discernment – listen when others need listening, draw boundaries when they need boundaries (though hopefully not for a long term).

7. Always choose love (Col. 3:14), let your gentleness be evident to everyone (Phil. 4:5).